Lindsay Jayne Ashford: The Woman on the Orient Express

The Woman on the Orient Express - CoverTitle: The Woman on the Orient Express
Author: Lindsay Jayne Ashford

Hoping to make a clean break from a fractured marriage, Agatha Christie boards the Orient Express in disguise. But unlike her famous detective Hercule Poirot, she can’t neatly unravel the mysteries she encounters on this fateful journey.

Agatha isn’t the only passenger on board with secrets. Her cabinmate Katharine Keeling’s first marriage ended in tragedy, propelling her toward a second relationship mired in deceit. Nancy Nelson—newly married but carrying another man’s child—is desperate to conceal the pregnancy and teeters on the brink of utter despair. Each woman hides her past from the others, ferociously guarding her secrets. But as the train bound for the Middle East speeds down the track, the parallel courses of their lives shift to intersect—with lasting repercussions.

RatingE

He said that once I’d produced a child, my job would be over. It wouldn’t matter if it was a boy or a girl – as long as there was a baby. That was another condition of his inheriting the earldom, apparently.

This isn’t how this works. This isn’t how any of this works. Earls can’t choose who inherits their title. It will always be the oldest (I think there might be an exception if he has committed high-treason but that is not the case here). Of course, if the author had just spent one more paragraph on this and explained that only some money is entailed to the title and dad threatens to leave his unentailed fortune to somebody else it would have been fine. The son would have worried about ending up a title and a grand mansion he can’t afford the upkeep to. The plot would have still worked in our world and not only in some alternate reality Choose Your Own Earl-England. (It still would have raised the question why granddad would have been fine with a girl who couldn’t inherit the title but you can’t have everything).

But then this is only a tiny part of the book. It mainly is about three women. The three women who all have problems caused by romantic relationships with men: Agatha just got divorced and has body-image/general self-confidence issues brought on by her ex-husband’s abusive behaviour. Nancy discovered very shortly after her marriage that her husband has no interest in her and now she’s pregnant by somebody else. Katharine blames herself for her first husband’s suicide and is now afraid of what will happen if her second husband makes the same discovery her first husband did.

There is nothing wrong with a plot that focusses on these issues. After all, it is set in the 1920 – a time where a woman who didn’t have a husband had a much harder time. And I have yelled enough about historical novels that feature too-modern characters so I’m not saying they all should have said ‘Well fuck men’ but I do wish that we had gotten one main character with a problem caused by something else. No ultra-modern ‘I want to change the world and women’s place in it’-views required, simply a character who’s worried about a sibling or a parent. Just anything else.

And I wish even more that these problems – and them finding out about each other’s problems – hadn’t been presented in such a soap-operific manner but at the end of most chapters, you could almost see the Dramatic Zoom In™ on the Shocked Face™

Dramatic Zoom in from Weissensee
With apologies to Jörg Hartmann who is a better actor than the camera-work in Weissensee makes you believe

We also get a Dramatic Reveal brought on by a poisonous snake, a character who watches another character give a third one a massage, they then immediately assume the others were having sex and rushes off  (and at first tries to block off any attempts at explanations from Character #2)  as well as a character who throws themselves on their knees and buries their head in their hands before revealing their Tragic Past™. Not to mention all the single tears that are cried in this book…really, it’s a wonder the desert, where most of the book takes place in, didn’t turn into an ocean from so many of them.

And to top it all off, at the end, the character who had the most atypical life for a woman at the time suddenly gets some very typical feminine things and it turns out: deep down she wanted them all along and only now is truly happy. Of course.

Disgusted Luise Kinseher as Bavaria


Card: Crime Scene - The Orient Express from the Kill Your Darlings-game

This is also read for the Kill Your Darlings game (Crime Scene: Orient Express, where it actually checks all the boxes: the characters travel, it’s set in the 1920s and it has a train on the cover)

One thought on “Lindsay Jayne Ashford: The Woman on the Orient Express

  1. Pingback: State of the Reading Challenges – Witty Little Reader

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